Back and forth, back and forth. Up and down, in and out. There I go! I’m rising high…above it all. Thriving. Rejoicing. Living. I am the crest, the highest part of a wave. I am trusting, relying, abiding, and believing. I’m filled with a faith that can move mountains, and I feel as if nothing can move me. I’m secure, at peace. Suddenly, I break. I crash. I pound toward the shore. I’m falling, struggling. I’m doubting. I’m scared. I’m not trusting, not believing. I’m sinking. I hit the sand hard. For a split second, I’m still. I’m at peace again. I’m filled with joy! But then, I get swept back out into the sea. Not trusting. Not believing. I’ve hit the trough, the lowest part of a wave. I’m drowning. I’m doubting. I’ve taken my eyes off Jesus. I can’t see truth, can’t trust truth. I feel alone, abandoned. Suddenly, I begin to rise again! I’m on top of the world! I’m believing that God is who He says He is, and that He will accomplished all that He’s promised to do! I have faith once again! But the wave soon collapses and with it, so does my faith. I break. I crash. I pound toward the shore. I’m still. I’m swept away. I’m drowning, doubting. Then, I rise. Back and forth, back and forth. Oh, when will it end! I hear the Spirit’s soft whisper. It will end when I stop living by sight, and start living by faith. I know that I don’t know it all. I know now that I don’t have to know it all. I don’t have to see the big picture. I just have to trust the One who does. The One who holds the whole Earth in His hands! The One who made me, and loves me. The One who died in my place. Jesus. I trust Him. And by faith, I rise! I can’t see it all. But by faith, I trust the One who does.
“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” –James 1:6-8